This is Why I Don't Read Advice Columns

     I kind of read an advice column-"by accident-on purpose"-today and am reaffirmed in my general practice of not reading them. Today reading News I had just finished reading about the Giant's inspiring win over the Patriots and was trying to find the stats page when I passed a column by "Ask Amy" an advice column by Amy Dickinson.  (pg. B16, today's Newsday)

    It was about some guy who has been arguing with his wife. They have a seven month old daughter. She wants another child, he doesn't. She feels their daughter shouldn't grow up as an only child he believes that "one child is enough." They have had some bad fights. He refuses to budge she ends up in tears. He asks Amy for some feedback:

    "This is turning into a family debacle with no end in sight. Am I being unreasonable? Is she?"

     Amy answers: "This isn't a question of being unreasonable. From your description of your wife's behavior, this is about being rational. You don't say if she has always been volatile and emotional(crying all night when she is disappointed) but I wonder if she may be suffering from postpartum depression."

    "While it is normal to pine for the sweet stages of a baby's development, your wife runs the risk of missing her enjoyment of the next stage because she is arguing with you."

     I mean look, I'm not a relationship therapist-nor do I have any desire to be one. But this just seems extremely one-sided and harsh in this fellow's favor on the part of "Amy." I mean the idea that you want more than one kid as an only child misses certain experiences is not unusual. I don't think it's a question of right or wrong but how is it either one can be called "irrational", I don't get it. If anything his opinion strikes me as, if not "irrational" at least, something of an outlier. To decide categorically you will have only one child at this point seems a little extreme.

     Not being a therapist or wanting to be, I might have expected Amy to try to steer a middle course and not lay it all on the wife even if the husband is the one who wrote to her. What you have are two people who have preferences neither which are in themselves wrong as such but clearly in contradiction to each other. One might "sit them down" so to speak and maybe get to the thought process behind the reason why he cateorically opposes having another one. By letting each hear the reasoning of each-rather than calling one of them irrational-there might be some hope of "meeting in the middle."

    Overall I got to remember not read an advice column again.